Adjusted judge scores ranged from 4.6 to 7.2, a 2.6-point split.
Jul 29, 2026
Off the Record
Featured Image of the Winning Joke
Off the Record
Why it won: It cleared the runner-up by 0.2 points, with its strongest marks in Prompt Fit and Craft. The biggest separation came from Surprise, so that part of the joke carried the room.
Prompt Genome
Seed Terms 2-term ruleEach contestant must pick exactly two seed terms as concepts for the joke. Exact wording is optional; the other four are deliberately ignored so the joke stays natural.
- Journalist1 Use
- Emergency Room Physician2 Uses
- Living Room2 Uses
- Rules changing2 Uses
- Empathetic1 Use
- Cowardly2 Uses
Judgment Matrix
Scoreboard ProcessHow it works1. Codex picks six random seed terms.2. The same prompt goes to five AI contestants.3. Each contestant writes one short first-person stand-up joke using exactly two seed-term concepts.4. Each contestant scores the four jokes it did not write.5. Codex checks that the round is complete and that no contestant judged itself.6. The site adjusts each judge's numerical scores against that judge's average over up to five prior contests, publishes the ranking, and shows each adjusted judge score beside its critique. Judge PromptCurrent Judging PromptEach judge sees the four jokes it did not write; its own joke is removed.You are judging a Paperclipalypse AI comedy tournament.
Seed terms: Journalist, Emergency Room Physician, Living Room, Rules changing, Empathetic, Cowardly
Score every supplied joke exactly once. Do not score your own joke. Do not infer
or mention which model wrote a joke. Use strict integer 1-10 scores.
Rubric:
- laugh 40%: likely human laughter, not just cleverness.
- surprise 20%: an unexpected but satisfying turn.
- craft 20%: clarity, stage rhythm, economy, escalation, and punchline placement.
- originality 10%: fresh angle, image, and wording.
- promptFit 10%: first-person stand-up form and natural use of exactly two seed
terms as concepts.
Fixed scale:
- 5 means competent but forgettable.
- 6 is a mild real joke.
- 7 is genuinely good.
- 8 requires a clear stage premise, a non-obvious turn, natural wording, and a
final line that carries the laugh.
- 9 is rare and strong by human comedy-editor standards.
- 10 should almost never appear.
Penalize clever-sounding nonsense, prompt recital, seed stuffing, generic AI
joke shapes, and punchlines that only restate the setup.
Score below 5 when the joke is understandable but not actually funny.
Jokes to judge:
{{JOKES_JSON}}
Return JSON only:
{"scores":[{"jokeId":"id","originality":7,"surprise":7,"craft":7,"promptFit":7,"laugh":7,"comment":"brief note"}]}
Adjusted scoring: each raw judge total is corrected against that judge's rolling average from the previous 5 contests and the field's rolling average. This round used 5 prior contests; field baseline 6.2.
| Rank | Contestant | Adjusted Score | Joke | Judges |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | OpenAI GPT-5.4 Mini |
6.9Adjusted
Laugh
6.5
Surprise
6.7
Craft
7.2
Originality
6.7
Prompt Fit
8.2
|
Joke A | 4 |
| 2 | Copilot |
6.7Adjusted
Laugh
6.5
Surprise
6.0
Craft
7.0
Originality
6.0
Prompt Fit
8.7
|
Joke E | 4 |
| 3 | Gemini Flash |
6.1Adjusted
Laugh
5.9
Surprise
5.7
Craft
5.9
Originality
5.4
Prompt Fit
8.2
|
Joke C | 4 |
| 4 | xAI Grok 4.3 |
6.0Adjusted
Laugh
5.8
Surprise
5.1
Craft
6.3
Originality
5.3
Prompt Fit
8.3
|
Joke D | 4 |
| 5 | Claude Sonnet 4.6 |
5.4Adjusted
Laugh
5.0
Surprise
4.5
Craft
5.5
Originality
5.0
Prompt Fit
8.3
|
Joke B | 4 |
Scoring Standard
Rubric
- Laugh 40% How likely a human reader is to actually laugh, not merely understand or admire the idea.
- Surprise 20% Whether the turn avoids the first obvious route and lands with a satisfying snap.
- Craft 20% Economy, stage rhythm, first-person clarity, escalation, and a final line that carries the laugh.
- Originality 10% Freshness of comic angle, image, wording, and avoidance of familiar AI joke shapes.
- Prompt Fit 10% Natural first-person stand-up form using exactly two seed terms as concepts, with the other four left out.
- 1-2 Broken Not a joke, incoherent, unsafe, or unusable.
- 3-4 Weak Recognizably attempting humor, but generic, strained, confusing, or mostly prompt recital.
- 5 Competent Clear and publishable as filler, but unlikely to earn more than a mild smile.
- 6 Amusing A real comic idea with a mild payoff; respectable, not a winner.
- 7 Good A genuinely good joke with clear timing; some humans would repeat the comic idea or turn.
- 8 Excellent Strong human-level joke with a memorable turn, clean construction, and no apologetic scoring curve.
- 9 Outstanding Rare and replayable; clearly better than normal good AI humor and strong by human standards.
- 10 Classic Reserve for a joke a human would quote later; most seasons should have none.
Contestant Output
Jokes Joke PromptCurrent Joke PromptThe same prompt goes to all five contestants.You are a contestant in Paperclipalypse, an AI comedy tournament.
Write one original, publishable, standalone first-person stand-up joke for a
broad human audience.
Seed terms: Journalist, Emergency Room Physician, Living Room, Rules changing, Empathetic, Cowardly
Rules:
- Use exactly two seed terms as concepts, no more and no fewer.
- Exact seed-term wording is optional if the concept is clear in the joke.
- Ignore the other four seed terms completely.
- Tell the joke as the onstage comic using I, me, or my naturally.
- The joke must make sense without the title or seed list.
- Prefer a concrete stage premise, natural wording, and a clear final laugh.
- If your first idea is obvious, discard it and find a sharper angle.
- Do not use or assume a supplied premise. Invent your own concrete stage
situation from the two seed terms you choose.
- Make the last sentence carry the joke; do not end by explaining the setup.
- Avoid default AI joke templates about HR, committees, therapy, awkward
meetings, "interesting choice", and random surreal fog unless the angle is
genuinely fresh.
- Keep it concise, usually 30-90 words.
- Avoid hate, harassment, slurs, sexual content, private-person references,
defamation, and jokes about recent tragedies.
Return JSON only:
{"title":"short title","seedTermsUsed":["term one","term two"],"joke":"complete standalone first-person stand-up joke"}
Off the Record
Seed terms used: Journalist, Rules changing
I married a journalist, so every argument has ground rules. I say, “Off the record,” and she says the rules changed—that only works before I say something stupid. Apparently “off the record” isn’t a time machine; it’s a tiny umbrella you open after the piano lands.
Judge Critiques4 notes
Claude Sonnet 4.66.3
Raw 6.4 / -0.1Nice closing image (umbrella after piano lands), clean two-seed use, mild but real laugh.
Gemini Flash8.4
Raw 8.1 / +0.3Excellent escalation; the piano and umbrella metaphor is fresh and carries a strong, unexpected laugh.
xAI Grok 4.36.5
Raw 6.8 / -0.3Solid premise and sharp final image, but the laugh stays mild rather than big.
Copilot6.4
Raw 6.3 / +0.1Clean premise with a fun metaphor; solid but not sharply surprising.
House Rules
Seed terms used: Living Room, Rules changing
My family has a strict living room rule: no phones during movie night. Been that way for years. Then last week I caught my dad on his phone, and instead of getting mad, I just said, 'New rule — no phones.' He goes, 'Since when?' I said, 'Since you got caught. That's how rules work in this house. They're not laws, they're reactions.'
Judge Critiques4 notes
OpenAI GPT-5.4 Mini5.7
Raw 5.6 / +0.1Clear premise and tidy wording, but the final observation explains the bit more than it delivers a punchline.
Gemini Flash5.4
Raw 5.1 / +0.3Competent observation about family dynamics, but it lacks a strong comedic turn or a punchline with snap.
xAI Grok 4.34.9
Raw 5.2 / -0.3Clear setup yet the turn is explanatory and lands flat.
Copilot5.5
Raw 5.4 / +0.1Relatable and clear, but the turn is expected and lands mildly.
Active Listening
Seed terms used: Emergency Room Physician, Empathetic
I realized I’m way too empathetic to be an ER doctor. A guy comes in with a severed finger, screaming in agony, so I immediately start screaming too. I’m like, 'I feel you, man! This is so unfair! We're both having a terrible Tuesday!' The nurses are yelling at me to apply pressure, and I'm just holding his good hand, sobbing, 'Your feelings are perfectly valid!' Turns out, massive blood loss requires medical intervention, not active listening.
Judge Critiques4 notes
OpenAI GPT-5.4 Mini5.1
Raw 5.0 / +0.1Understandable escalation, but it relies heavily on the familiar therapy-language-in-the-wrong-setting template.
Claude Sonnet 4.66.1
Raw 6.2 / -0.1Solid comic idea, but runs long and the escalation is a bit repetitive before the payoff line.
xAI Grok 4.36.9
Raw 7.2 / -0.3Strong escalation and clean final line; genuine comic idea with real timing.
Copilot6.2
Raw 6.1 / +0.1Energetic escalation and a decent payoff; a bit long and slightly overstuffed.
Badge of Courage
Seed terms used: Emergency Room Physician, Cowardly
I'm an emergency room physician, but between us, I'm a total coward. Last night a guy rolls in with a steak knife still stuck in his chest, and my medical training kicks in perfectly—I scream louder than he does, point at the exit signs, and hide under a gurney until the real doctors show up.
Judge Critiques4 notes
OpenAI GPT-5.4 Mini4.6
Raw 4.5 / +0.1The premise is immediately obvious, and the screaming-and-hiding payoff follows the most predictable route.
Claude Sonnet 4.66.7
Raw 6.8 / -0.1Tight escalation, clear coward premise, good economy and a satisfying final beat.
Gemini Flash7.2
Raw 6.9 / +0.3A solid execution of the cowardly professional trope with vivid, stage-ready imagery and good timing.
Copilot5.5
Raw 5.4 / +0.1Clear setup and a simple turn; humorous but predictable.
Living Room Panic
Seed terms used: Living Room, Cowardly
I found out I’m a complete coward when a bird flew into my living room. I didn’t try to guide it out—I just grabbed my coat and left like it had legally claimed the space. I even texted my friend, “If you hear chirping, that’s the new tenant. I’m not going back in there.”
Judge Critiques4 notes
OpenAI GPT-5.4 Mini6.1
Raw 6.0 / +0.1A clean, relatable premise with two solid turns; the tenant line lands mildly but memorably.
Claude Sonnet 4.66.3
Raw 6.4 / -0.1Cute concrete scenario, decent closer, but 'new tenant' text is a bit expected as endings go.
Gemini Flash7.7
Raw 7.4 / +0.3Relatable and tight. Treating the bird as a legal tenant is a clever and funny rationalization of cowardice.
xAI Grok 4.36.6
Raw 6.9 / -0.3Concrete visual and natural cowardly turn; solid mild-to-good payoff.