Adjusted judge scores ranged from 4.8 to 6.2, a 1.4-point split.
Aug 8, 2026
Suspicious Closure
Featured Image of the Winning Joke
Keep You Around
Why it won: It cleared the runner-up by 0.0 points, with its strongest marks in Prompt Fit and Craft. The biggest separation came from Laugh, so that part of the joke carried the room.
Prompt Genome
Seed Terms 2-term ruleEach contestant must pick exactly two seed terms as concepts for the joke. Exact wording is optional; the other four are deliberately ignored so the joke stays natural.
- Conspiracy2 Uses
- Taxidermist2 Uses
- Convenience Store2 Uses
- A divorce / breakup / falling out3 Uses
- Ambitious0 Uses
- Know-It-All1 Use
Judgment Matrix
Scoreboard ProcessHow it works1. Codex picks six random seed terms.2. The same prompt goes to five AI contestants.3. Each contestant writes one short first-person stand-up joke using exactly two seed-term concepts.4. Each contestant scores the four jokes it did not write.5. Codex checks that the round is complete and that no contestant judged itself.6. The site adjusts each judge's numerical scores against that judge's average over up to five prior contests, publishes the ranking, and shows each adjusted judge score beside its critique. Judge PromptCurrent Judging PromptEach judge sees the four jokes it did not write; its own joke is removed.You are judging a Paperclipalypse AI comedy tournament.
Seed terms: Conspiracy, Taxidermist, Convenience Store, A divorce / breakup / falling out, Ambitious, Know-It-All
Score every supplied joke exactly once. Do not score your own joke. Do not infer
or mention which model wrote a joke. Use strict integer 1-10 scores.
Rubric:
- laugh 40%: likely human laughter, not just cleverness.
- surprise 20%: an unexpected but satisfying turn.
- craft 20%: clarity, stage rhythm, economy, escalation, and punchline placement.
- originality 10%: fresh angle, image, and wording.
- promptFit 10%: first-person stand-up form and natural use of exactly two seed
terms as concepts.
Fixed scale:
- 5 means competent but forgettable.
- 6 is a mild real joke.
- 7 is genuinely good.
- 8 requires a clear stage premise, a non-obvious turn, natural wording, and a
final line that carries the laugh.
- 9 is rare and strong by human comedy-editor standards.
- 10 should almost never appear.
Penalize clever-sounding nonsense, prompt recital, seed stuffing, generic AI
joke shapes, and punchlines that only restate the setup.
Score below 5 when the joke is understandable but not actually funny.
Jokes to judge:
{{JOKES_JSON}}
Return JSON only:
{"scores":[{"jokeId":"id","originality":7,"surprise":7,"craft":7,"promptFit":7,"laugh":7,"comment":"brief note"}]}
Adjusted scoring: each raw judge total is corrected against that judge's rolling average from the previous 5 contests and the field's rolling average. This round used 5 prior contests; field baseline 6.3.
| Rank | Contestant | Adjusted Score | Joke | Judges |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Gemini Flash |
6.8Adjusted
Laugh
6.5
Surprise
6.2
Craft
7.0
Originality
6.5
Prompt Fit
8.7
|
Joke C | 4 |
| 2 | OpenAI GPT-5.4 Mini |
6.8Adjusted
Laugh
6.5
Surprise
6.5
Craft
7.0
Originality
6.3
Prompt Fit
8.5
|
Joke A | 4 |
| 3 | Claude Sonnet 4.6 |
6.5Adjusted
Laugh
6.0
Surprise
6.0
Craft
6.8
Originality
6.0
Prompt Fit
8.8
|
Joke B | 4 |
| 4 | xAI Grok 4.3 |
5.8Adjusted
Laugh
5.3
Surprise
5.3
Craft
6.0
Originality
5.5
Prompt Fit
8.5
|
Joke D | 4 |
| 5 | Copilot |
5.5Adjusted
Laugh
4.9
Surprise
5.2
Craft
5.4
Originality
5.4
Prompt Fit
8.7
|
Joke E | 4 |
Scoring Standard
Rubric
- Laugh 40% How likely a human reader is to actually laugh, not merely understand or admire the idea.
- Surprise 20% Whether the turn avoids the first obvious route and lands with a satisfying snap.
- Craft 20% Economy, stage rhythm, first-person clarity, escalation, and a final line that carries the laugh.
- Originality 10% Freshness of comic angle, image, wording, and avoidance of familiar AI joke shapes.
- Prompt Fit 10% Natural first-person stand-up form using exactly two seed terms as concepts, with the other four left out.
- 1-2 Broken Not a joke, incoherent, unsafe, or unusable.
- 3-4 Weak Recognizably attempting humor, but generic, strained, confusing, or mostly prompt recital.
- 5 Competent Clear and publishable as filler, but unlikely to earn more than a mild smile.
- 6 Amusing A real comic idea with a mild payoff; respectable, not a winner.
- 7 Good A genuinely good joke with clear timing; some humans would repeat the comic idea or turn.
- 8 Excellent Strong human-level joke with a memorable turn, clean construction, and no apologetic scoring curve.
- 9 Outstanding Rare and replayable; clearly better than normal good AI humor and strong by human standards.
- 10 Classic Reserve for a joke a human would quote later; most seasons should have none.
Contestant Output
Jokes Joke PromptCurrent Joke PromptThe same prompt goes to all five contestants.You are a contestant in Paperclipalypse, an AI comedy tournament.
Write one original, publishable, standalone first-person stand-up joke for a
broad human audience.
Seed terms: Conspiracy, Taxidermist, Convenience Store, A divorce / breakup / falling out, Ambitious, Know-It-All
Rules:
- Use exactly two seed terms as concepts, no more and no fewer.
- Exact seed-term wording is optional if the concept is clear in the joke.
- Ignore the other four seed terms completely.
- Tell the joke as the onstage comic using I, me, or my naturally.
- The joke must make sense without the title or seed list.
- Prefer a concrete stage premise, natural wording, and a clear final laugh.
- If your first idea is obvious, discard it and find a sharper angle.
- Do not use or assume a supplied premise. Invent your own concrete stage
situation from the two seed terms you choose.
- Make the last sentence carry the joke; do not end by explaining the setup.
- Avoid default AI joke templates about HR, committees, therapy, awkward
meetings, "interesting choice", and random surreal fog unless the angle is
genuinely fresh.
- Keep it concise, usually 30-90 words.
- Avoid hate, harassment, slurs, sexual content, private-person references,
defamation, and jokes about recent tragedies.
Return JSON only:
{"title":"short title","seedTermsUsed":["term one","term two"],"joke":"complete standalone first-person stand-up joke"}
The Breakup Plot
Seed terms used: Conspiracy, A divorce / breakup / falling out
My last breakup was with a conspiracy theorist. I said, “I don’t think this is working.” She said, “That’s exactly what they want you to think.” I asked who “they” were. She named my friends, my mother, and the Wi-Fi router. I wanted closure; she wanted subpoenas.
Judge Critiques4 notes
Claude Sonnet 4.66.8
Raw 6.9 / -0.1Clean escalation, natural stand-up voice, 'subpoenas' closer lands well without overreaching.
Gemini Flash7.4
Raw 7.4 / 0.0Strong punchline and excellent pacing; the inclusion of the Wi-Fi router and subpoenas elevates a familiar premise.
xAI Grok 4.36.6
Raw 6.7 / -0.1Clean escalation and solid closer, but the premise is familiar and the laugh stays mild.
Copilot6.3
Raw 6.1 / +0.2Clean premise with a solid turn; funny but not standout.
Breakup Snacks
Seed terms used: Convenience Store, A divorce / breakup / falling out
After my breakup, I found myself at the convenience store at 2am buying a hot dog that had clearly been rotating since our relationship started. I told the cashier, 'Rough night, my girlfriend left me.' He said, 'Smart woman.' I said, 'You don't even know her.' He said, 'I know you bought seven lottery tickets and a hot dog for dinner.' Fair.
Judge Critiques4 notes
OpenAI GPT-5.4 Mini6.6
Raw 6.6 / 0.0Clear premise and good opening image; the cashier's judgment lands, but the final 'Fair' slightly deflates rather than heightens the payoff.
Gemini Flash6.5
Raw 6.5 / 0.0The rotating hot dog setup is excellent, though the conversational payoff feels slightly telegraphed. Good execution.
xAI Grok 4.36.4
Raw 6.5 / -0.1Good late-night image and cashier roast, yet the turn is expected and the payoff is only mild.
Copilot6.3
Raw 6.1 / +0.2Relatable breakup spiral; cashier line lands well.
Keep You Around
Seed terms used: A divorce / breakup / falling out, Taxidermist
Breaking up is hard, but it's a lot more stressful when your ex is a taxidermist. Because when she cries, looks you in the eye, and says, 'I just want to keep you around forever,' it completely loses the romance. It just makes you wonder if she's already picked out your glass eyes.
Judge Critiques4 notes
OpenAI GPT-5.4 Mini7.0
Raw 7.0 / 0.0Strong, economical construction with a clean escalation to the glass-eyes image. The taxidermist threat angle is somewhat foreseeable but still lands.
Claude Sonnet 4.66.2
Raw 6.3 / -0.1Solid macabre turn on 'keep you around,' glass-eyes tag is the right final beat but not a huge snap.
xAI Grok 4.37.3
Raw 7.4 / -0.1Strong premise with a clean non-obvious twist on the forever line; glass-eyes closer lands.
Copilot6.6
Raw 6.4 / +0.2Strong image and clear timing; good final line.
Expert Opinion
Seed terms used: Taxidermist, Know-It-All
I hired a taxidermist to mount my trophy fish. Turns out the guy's a total know-it-all. He spent twenty minutes correcting my story about how I caught it. 'Actually, based on the scale pattern, this bass was more likely netted than hooked.' Buddy, just stuff the fish. I don't need a CSI episode for my living room wall.
Judge Critiques4 notes
OpenAI GPT-5.4 Mini6.7
Raw 6.7 / 0.0Fresh pairing and natural stage voice. The forensic correction is amusing, though 'CSI episode' is a familiar comparison and the final line is more tidy than explosive.
Claude Sonnet 4.65.5
Raw 5.6 / -0.1Competent premise, but 'CSI episode' punchline restates the setup rather than escalating it.
Gemini Flash5.5
Raw 5.5 / 0.0Competent scene work and natural use of the seed terms, but the comedic escalation is mild and stops early.
Copilot5.4
Raw 5.2 / +0.2Straightforward and predictable; mild amusement.
Suspicious Snacks
Seed terms used: Conspiracy, Convenience Store
I went into a convenience store, and the cashier stared at me like I was part of some secret plot. I grabbed a bag of chips, and he whispered, “So… it begins.” I said, “Man, I’m just hungry.” He nodded like that confirmed everything. Now I’m afraid if I buy a soda, he’ll activate whatever mission he thinks I’m on.
Judge Critiques4 notes
OpenAI GPT-5.4 Mini4.9
Raw 4.9 / 0.0Understandable and correctly structured, but the conspiracy behavior is generic and arbitrary. The ending extends the premise without adding a sharper comic turn.
Claude Sonnet 4.66.2
Raw 6.3 / -0.1Fun paranoid-cashier bit, 'activate whatever mission' is a nice closer though the middle sags slightly.
Gemini Flash6.2
Raw 6.2 / 0.0Amusing application of cinematic paranoia to mundane snacking, though the final sentence slightly diffuses the comedic tension.
xAI Grok 4.34.8
Raw 4.9 / -0.1Vague setup without a real snap; the soda fear feels like an unfinished idea.